


Until Stars Fall

by Emblue_Sparks



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A day on the beach, Cas goes both ways, Coleman cooler - Freeform, Confession, Dean Martin and Barbara Lewis, Dean understands that reference, Destiel dancing, Hope, Italian cuisine in Lebanon, Kissing, Longing, M/M, Pining, Post-Episode: s14e12 Prophet and Loss, Sadness, Sunshine - Freeform, That's Amore!, Umbrellas, and some bittersweet, beer and dick jokes, clothes on the floor, fair amount of Chianti, i guess some angst, more dancing, nebulas, patio and twinkling lights, space talk, star crossed lovers, toes in the sand, yearning for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 07:07:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20689496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emblue_Sparks/pseuds/Emblue_Sparks
Summary: After deciding to give Sam and Castiel more time to discover a better option than the Malak box, Dean needs a day playing hooky from research. Asking Castiel to join him leads both to unexpected revelations.





	Until Stars Fall

**Author's Note:**

> This little story is based on a prompt from the @destielcocklesfanfiction tumblr blog: "Dean, why are you longing for me, if I'm next to you? I don't get it…" Castiel asked, tilting his head, making Dean swallow. Since Cas was living with them in the bunker, trying to hide his feelings wasn't that easy anymore. Thanks to Helianthus21 for the beta reciprocation! Brainfart about the rating as I can't recall if mentioning intercourse puts it above the Teen level. So the gag reel of Jensen and Misha has destroyed me. Haven't been able to get it out of my head, so the fic is me resurrecting myself via Destiel. Enjoy!
> 
> Here's the link to the Barbara Lewis song if you want to hear it, or drown in feels like I did:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKZ7o7EXHFM

"So, then, this is goodbye?" The angel stood there in Donatello's hospital room, incredulous that Dean would take himself away from those who love him.

Cas had been pissed. Dean knew damn well he had every right, despite his own protests and justifications for making the death clock box in the first place. Sam was plenty angry too, but more hurt than anything. Neither understood how badly Dean didn't want this fate. Even Michael understood it, trapped as he was. For now.

The Archangel knew everything Dean was. Who he chose to be. Hence his railing and raging against that fridge door. Wearing Dean Winchester had made him breathtakingly aware of the soul's iron conviction to live through Hell for all eternity if it meant keeping humanity safe. With this knowledge came the certainty his days of oppressive reign were numbered. Michael knew he'd be interred in that box until even the stardust, the very building blocks of life sustaining him would disintegrate. And it scared the angelic piss out of him.

Good.

~•~•~•~•~•~

A few days after he'd agreed to give Cas and Sam time to come up with another 'Hail Mary', the emotional climate in the bunker had softened from sharp hurt, to a dull ache. Everyone had been burning the candle at both ends with their favorite pastime. Research.

Well, Dean had had enough of that. If they could find a way to strap Michael to a one way comet bound for the next blank universe over- Aces. But he wasn't putting all his chips in one basket case named Donnie just yet. And if Jack could enjoy a day of fun before biting the dust, then he was sure gonna get his slice of Sayonara pie too.

"Starting the day with a good breakfast is important," Cas noted, walking by Dean hoarking down a plate of bacon and veggie quiche he'd baked before sun up.

Gathering no small amount of courage, Dean nonchalantly attempted a proposal. "Speaking of a good day, any chance you'd ditch the research and head out with me on some errands?"

Cas looked torn. Stay to comb for ways of expelling an archangel safely, versus spending time with Dean. This was a conundrum for the angel, easily grasped from his strained visage. But the point of this day he'd planned was to forget his fate for a while and make memories he'd need on which to eternally cling.

After dithering for a moment, Cas made a decision. "Yes. I'd like that."

Not realizing he'd been holding his breath, Dean let it go. "Awesome."

With an ice chest plus a few other sundries, moments later they were two happy bumblebees coasting down the road. When Dean pulled into a regional state park which boasted hiking, fishing, and a recreational lake, Cas appeared delighted at the distraction from the current situation.

Dean mused wistfully, "It'd be criminal not to take advantage of such a warm spring day. The last time you and I were together at a lake fishing was-"

"You were dreaming. That was a serene place for you."

"But I've decided it doesn't count. I'm through dreaming and want the real thing," Dean cleared his throat, attempting to sound more matter of fact, "a day with you at the lake. Or would you rather be in and out of the car all day stocking up on supplies?"

Cas issued with decided enthusiasm, "This will be more satisfactory."

~•~•~•~•~•~

"When you're not wearing some poor bastard, is there an angel equivalent to sittin' pretty on a beach?" he wondered after setting up their chairs, umbrellas, and the ice chest.

Upon Dean's suggestion of losing his shoes, rolling up his pant legs, and pushing his toes in the sand, Cas sat as still as a statue.

"This feels..dirty, but not wholly unpleasant." A pensive demeanor fell over him when leisurely replying, "Nebulas are quite rejuvenating to rest within."

"Hm. Never would've guessed." Dean pursed his lips and shrugged his shoulders, before taking a sip of beer.

Turning in his seat, Cas explained, "A nebula is a star nursery. There's one in the Orion constellation, below his belt."

Dean almost choked on his beer. "Yer tellin' me there's a huge star maker between his legs?"

"It's massive."

"And, you like spending time there?" Dean stifled a snigger, thankful his eyes couldn't betray him behind the classic Ray-bans.

He assured,"It's very pleasurable."

Dean finally cracked into fits and giggles, "Ten years and I'm just now learning you find it 'pleasurable' spending time between the legs of guy bigger than you, who's packing one helluva celestial baby maker."

Cas's head tilted for a brief moment when puzzling on what Dean thought was so funny. Realization dawned on him and he immediately bristled in defense, preparing the counter strike.

"Well.. you know how I know you’re gay?"

Dean only grew more hysterical at Cas's swift wit and sharp sass. "Ho, ho-w?"

"When I talk about space, you turn it into a celestial dick joke while slurping on a phallic shaped container spilling something pleasurable into _your_ mouth."

Beer detonated passed Dean's lips and out of his nostrils, launching him into a wet, wheezing coughing fit. Cas settled back into a comfortable position and took a sip of his own beer. Dean noted his smug look as he did so and nearly swooned.

When he stopped spluttering long enough to speak, he whistled while wagging a finger at him, "Ex- forty year old virgin, I understood that reference. Ahhhh Cas, I really needed this man. What is so awesome about a get-away in a star nursery?"

Calming a bemused smile, Cas resumed his explanation. "Being a wavelength of intent is very different. Feels, more. When I'm there, the nebula experiences my presence as much as I experience the processes occurring inside."

Dean's interest was piqued. "What, like osmosis?"

"In a sense, I go both ways."

Keeping his adorably childish humor on lock down, Dean coughed once more and popped him an eyebrow of intrigue.

"I can feel the building blocks from within the nebula fertilizing, germinating. And being a wavelength of intent means I'm capable of transferring the intent of my choosing to whatever I wish and contribute to the steps of life."

Dean was speechless, suddenly enraptured by the possibility of what Cas was saying.

"I can help stardust grow. It takes a long time of course, but doing so is incredibly satisfying. A human would compare it to tending a beloved garden."

Stunned into silence, Dean allowed himself a revelation. Knowing Cas had certainly broadened his own concept of time. He'd joked the guy was older than dirt, but this... this was a startling reminder. The sort which anchored deeply, with incalculable strength. This angel had likely spent eons tending this nebula's beloved garden and yet…

_"Knowing you, it... it’s been the best part of my life. And the things that...the things we’ve shared together, they have changed me. You’re my family. I love you. I love all of you."_

The memories of that night were still painfully sharp. But Dean was moved beyond reason or logic to learn that spending thousands, maybe even millions of years in pleasured "tending of a beloved garden," was not the best part of Cas's existence. The tiniest blink of eye he'd spent with him, and Sam too, was the best part.

"That sounds amazing Cas," he whispered in awe.

For the rest of the day Dean was relatively quiet. Perhaps Cas sensed his need to allow such a topic to settle. Or perhaps not. They often found peace in each other's silent company, sometimes for no particular reason at all.

As sunset approached, the meaning of time, the magnitude of it, sunk in epically. Dark thoughts endeavored to encroach on Dean's mind. For the most part he banished them, but not before a few took hold, triggering deep reflection.

By the time they climbed in Baby, the more heavily the topic of time weighed upon Dean, and the more he didn't want the sun to go down on their day together just yet. His stomach grumbled, reading his mind.

"How about some good old Italian cuisine for dinner, huh?"

"Sounds like your kind of meal. What did you have in mind?" Cas sounded just as eager to keep the good times rolling, which heartened Dean.

"There's a great hole in the wall right in town. Can't believe I've never taken you there!"

After dark on a weeknight, in Lebanon, meant it wouldn't be a standing room only. There were people scattered here and there, consuming delicious carbohydrates in copious quantities. But not so many it had Dean pulling a U turn.

The darkened lamps felt kinda nice, and the flickering candles on each table only added to the eatery's romantic mood. Dean splurged for a bottle of Chianti to pair with the breadsticks while they waited for their food.

"I may be eatin' alone, but I'm not drinkin' Chianti by myself. Drink up Cas."

Clinking their tumblers together, both peered into each others eyes deeply, taking the first sip of what would be many that night.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~

After three glasses of Chianti, Dean was no longer concerned about heartburn and ordered the lasagna. Cas ordered the Fettucini Alfredo knowing it was a favorite of Dean's he could hoark down the following day. After seven glasses nobody was blitzed, but sure having a good time reminiscing over Cas's most notorious blunders with humanity.

They were just recalling the strip joint in which Dean dragged him, pledging he wouldn't die a virgin when the classic, "That's Amoré!" song played. Everyone readily left their meals to participate in a tradition unique to the little establishment.

The jovial mood running rampant through the restaurant, paired with a growing case of intense feels within Dean, had him gauging Cas's reaction to the event. It warmed him to witness his weird, dorky little friend enjoying people dancing around them. Before Dean knew what he was doing, he stood and offered his hand.

"C'mon Cas, do me the honor. Luciano and Gianni are teaming up," Dean pointed over the counter to the two chefs singing and swaying in each others arms, playfully cutting a rug. "Promise I won't drop you."

Shy as all get out, Cas took the hand offered. Dean felt such contentment welling inside. And for once he knew it wasn't only the booze responsible. Pushing down a few jitters of his own, he let his hand slide down Cas's arm behind him, relaxing in between his shoulder blades over the trench coat. As if it were the most natural thing in the universe for them, his other hand grasped Cas's and away they glided, in between the mash up of other couples swirling to the late, great Dean Martin.

It would be a bold faced lie to say Dean's inner hopeless romantic didn't positively glow when Cas tilted his head in a little towards him and curl their hands slightly into their chests on one of their turns. He knew they appeared a seasoned couple, so in sync anyone would swear they'd been partners for years.

"Dean, why would the moon hit your eye, like a big pizza pie? It's more likely to elicit feelings of a migraine, not Amoré."

Chuckling heartily, Dean shook his head in mystification at Cas's ability to grasp some tools of speech and the purpose behind them, while others seem to completely evade him.

"And who came up with 'ting a ling a ling, ting a ling a ling' for the sound bells make when they ring'?"

Dean playfully spun Cas around, then they managed to fold right back together, fitting each other perfectly.

"Dean's are just funny guys I guess." Green eyes flickered in whimsical delight, then locked onto wide, blue orbs staring back at him intently.

Hearts went pitter patter. A desire to take bolder steps echoed between them. They became suddenly aware of the rooms occupants clapping in frivolity at songs end. Dean could feel with every fiber of his being that the sharp eyes gazing back into his, wanted to physically part as much as he did. Which was never.

The room was growing warm from the stirring of activity, yet the cool spring breeze ghosting through the backdoor, and reaching them from the patio, was as alluring as a siren’s song.

The difference in temperature was refreshing. Dean proposed, "Let's get some air."

He took off his jacket, leaving his customary two layers in place and watched with intrigue as Cas peeled off his coat and jacket, to roll up his sleeves and make towards the patio.

The night air was sobering. Blissful even. The moon had climbed high and full. The stars, shone crisp and numerous. A fierce yearning was manifesting in Dean when seeing Cas take in the patio lined with pale yellow Christmas lights and the soft sounds of another song beginning to serenade them. Facing him with perhaps the most relaxed smile he'd ever worn, Cas regarded him, silently pondering if they might continue dancing.

And Dean was in no mood to refuse. His elation now ran free like a leaf upon the wind. Sadness clawed in his gut at the thought of spending forever without this. A simmering disaster of devastating love and sorrow, he strode up to Cas, his left hand effortlessly found the small of his back. The right laced his fingers within Cas's other, remaining intertwined at their side. As Dean led and hummed to the song, they gently swayed side to side, more interested in putting less space between them while the soulful song by Barbara Lewis bewitched them.

"Baby I'm yours  
And I'll be yours until the stars fall from the sky  
Yours until the rivers all run dry  
In other words, until I die"

An aching in Dean's chest spread like wildfire. Unable to stop his breath from hitching, he tried swaying a little more and resting his forehead against Cas's, in hopes his emotional climate wouldn't reveal itself to be the tempest it was.

"Dean, why are you longing for me, if I'm next to you? I don't get it…" Castiel asked, tilting his head, making Dean swallow. Since Cas was living with them in the bunker, trying to hide his feelings wasn't that easy anymore.

He'd been called a man of few words. Maybe. But when he spoke, he made those words count. However, in that moment, he didn't have a clue where to begin. It was too much. Stay silent. Or let the damn burst. Those were his options.

"You're trembling. What's wrong? Are you cold?" Cas asked in worry.

Shaking his head, he managed to huff out,"Remember I told you once, to stay outta my head?"

Cas gulped and that terrified look he'd worn at the den of iniquity from years ago reappeared. "Yes," came the deep, reverberating rasp.

Dean was beyond fear of rejection. He knew Cas. If he didn't love him back in the same way, at least his angel would know how much he was loved. The thought of leaving him to eternity, knowing Dean was existing, yet beyond all help, was too great for him to bear. Yet,if he could help Cas understand he'll be loved long after even time had forgotten itself, it might make such a tragic forever, bearable.

Lifting their hands, Dean softly placed Cas's palm against his cheek. Searching his face for sign of understanding, an awareness of what this meant, he nodded in permission and hoped the firestorm wouldn't present itself like the nuclear reactor he felt within.

_"Baby I'm yours_  
_ And I'll be yours until the sun no longer shines_  
_ Yours until the poets run out of rhyme_  
_ I'll be yours until two and two is three_  
_ Yours until the mountain crumbles to the sea_  
_ In other words, until eternity"_

Passion, terror, sorrow, unwavering faith, and enduring love were unleashed. With a single nod, all of it now belonged to him.

"Who are you?  
_I'm the one who gripped you tight and saved you from perdition._  
Thanks for that. I mean what are you?  
_I'm an angel of the Lord. You don't think you deserved to be saved?_

You were going to warn me weren't you?

_Dean and I do share a more profound bond._

_Much of the time, I'd rather be with you._

Nobody cares that you're broken!

I'd rather have you, cursed or not.

I need you.

I prayed to you Cas, every night!

_You can't save everyone my friend, though you try._

There’s things… people… feelings that I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time..

It's not an it Sam, it's Cas!

_I love you. All of you._

_I needed to come back here with a win for you._

It's a gift. We keep those.

You. Me. Sam. We're just better together.

We lost everything! Now you're gonna bring him back!

He promised him paradise! It got him killed!

We got Cas back, I'd say that's a pretty big win.

Love is silver stake through the heart. It can get even crazier than that.

_I've missed you. It's good to hear your voice._"

The flow of thoughts, feelings, and visions was broken by an unexpected sound. When Dean's eyes fluttered open, Cas was staring at him with a faint blue glow emanating from the endless oceans he'd loved for ten years. Oceans which were spilling down his cheeks.

If he spoke aloud, his voice would crack with emotion and he didn't have the energy for that. Just as in years long past Dean prayed with quiet reverence,_"I don't wanna die Cas. But no matter what happens, ya gotta know. I love you more than there are stars in the universe. And I'll love you until they fall."_

Like two profound forces of nature, they were drawn together. Their lips danced, pushing and pulling against each other in a timeless rhythm belonging only to the world's most doomed, star crossed lovers.

"That's why you feel me longing for you. Because you'll never be close enough."

Sniffling, Cas shed his tears without shame. "We can try. With the time we have."

"We could have eternity in front of us and it still won't be enough. But yeah. Let's try."

Taking a step back, Dean nodded in the direction of the restaurant's front entrance. Clasping Cas's hand in his, he whispered,"Let's go home."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Upon arriving back at the bunker, a message was left that Sam and Jack were at the movies.

_Sam left me a note in the kitchen, I'll leave him a sock on my door. And we'll cross that bridge when we get there._

Falling to the floor haphazardly, their clothing became their own 'garden' of multicolored fabrics and textiles. Their lovemaking was desperate and all consuming, impossible to quench that thirst, which had been building for a decade. Eventually it slowed to a softer, sweeter pace, yet both were shedding tears for time wasted and years ahead which may be lost. They existed altogether out of time and space, in their own sacred bubble where time stood still.

Dean cherished every part of the angel. Physically, spiritually, emotionally. He helped him know a love apart from all others. In turn, Cas worshiped a most righteous man, making him believe he was worth saving.

Though the heartbreaking necessity of what lay ahead was uncertain, Dean fell asleep in the arms of someone he loved more than his own life. Someone who, breath for breath, heartbeat for heartbeat, and sacrifice for sacrifice reciprocated that love. A love more lasting than the stars themselves.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm aware Michael is in Dean, albeit locked away. So one could call it noncon for him, but given that he's an uberdouche I'm choosing to ignore it.
> 
> As an aside, I googled pictures of Orion's Nebula and found it vaguely heart shaped with pinks and blues. The nebula is bisexual AF.


End file.
